Monday, September 28, 2009

Well here i am

Currently: adkfjalkdjf; mvnmc, mvcmnea;oojdkmd,klj;dafk;dioewo

I have been drinking a lot of hot tea lately, twirling my hair, and fighting off sicknesses swarming around campus right now. My voice is raspy. My eyes are puffy. And my head feel adrift in a cloud. Physically I am yearning for sleep; rest. Emotionally, I am seeking for the same thing.

My heart it panting for peace. If only I could lay this head down and know that everything in my life that seems to be running amok will be senior project will find its way to completion and stop hanging over my future plans will find their way to the front.....and I will find a way to appreciate the time I have here. I would really like to do that. I loathe the fact that I can't do that. The moment my thoughts begin to marvel at the world around me, I wake up abruptly to my drill sergeant schedule alarming me to get back to my day. There's too much to do. And I don't think I can do it. Logically, picking this type of schedule was a stupid idea, seeming nearly impossible. And I am really sad about it. Emotionally, I am dealing with lifes general changes and decisions. Combined with being a girl and Liz at that, my eyes are teary and my soul is found in unrest.

My emotional throw up is this:

-I miss my friends, the ones that aren't near me geographically, physically, emotionally, or spiritually. Some who have shifted their way to my past, I find it hard to let go. It's lonely to be without them now and it's hurting me to think about leaving a place full of dear ones and all of our memories.

My heart is heavy tonight. And I might leave it at that. Because there seems to be nothing else I can do.

1 comment:

meg said...

They did not thirst when he led them through the deserts; he made water flow for them from the rock;he split the rock and the water gushed out. Is. 48:21

The Lord desires this for you and will be your provision. Oh Liz... I wanna leave everything and just come pray for you. But PLEASE know that I am lying here going to bed and praying. Call if you need to, visit if you can. You are so dearly loved.