Monday, September 7, 2009

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Currently listening to: Ben Harper
Currently learning to: breathe
Current favorite song lyric: Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

I feel relieved at the opportunity to cuddle up with this piece of technology and write willingly about matters other than communication research and the difference between Simon Bolivar and Jose de San Martin. I have been waiting for this all day.

So, writing. I didn't realize I liked it until the past year of my college life. And it's not the MLA certified essays that I enjoy, it's this. I am reading a book called Sweet Agony which describes the thrilling and oh so satisfying endeavor of creating images out of nothing but a combination of 26 letters. Writing for my Communication professors right now is not sweet agony, it's painful agony. But sweet agony....oh what sweet agony in doing this (read that last line slowly with an English accent, sounds like Shakespeare).

I have several different layers of things going on in my life right now, all of which contribute to my heart feeling like it's been ripped apart and broken to pieces. No freak out texts/calls here, I am fine. I would just like to admit my hurt; that it is very real. It is humbling. And I am trying to get over the embarassing cliche feeling that I am going to miss "this place." But I am. "This place" referring to so many different things these past 3 years. Relationships have a lot to do with it, as does an identity that has been wrapped up securely by the titles and systems here. Without this identity, I feel like I have been dropped off on the side of the road, stripped naked, shivering, nameless and cold, waiting to sight my way down the road again.


But this time, a new road, and without everyone else.

1 comment:

Megan said...

Well, I'm glad you love writing, because I love reading. You, my dear Liz, have the precious gift of writing that enables you to put into words what everyone else is thinking and experiencing in such a way that they say: yeah, that's so true, I just wouldn't know how to explain it. I hope you get to use written communication in some significant way in your future...