Friday, October 31, 2008

Some candy and a tummy-ache

Happy Halloween. My night was spent sitting in the lobby of my dorm watching freshman girls walk out in rather risk-ay costumes. I ate a lot of candy. Did my laundry. Studied. Made sure rukus didn't break out among the youngsters. Happy Halloween.

Things I have pondered lately:

I was very disappointed in my Runts today. They now include pineapple and some mango-type flavor. I do not enjoy either. Darn waste of calories. But I enjoy Kit-Kats, so it's alright.

I have the craziest sense of smell. I am telling you. I have the tendency to guess the brand and flavor of gum being chewed in one's mouth. I am what we call "smell sensitive." If you come near me, I might identify you with a smell. It's become a habit.

What in the world is the deal with Halloween? Is there a rule saying you have to dress like a hoe? Because everyone follows that rule.

I am confident that I have not met the man of my dreams yet. I am just disappointed in my interaction with guys lately. I have not been impressed whatsoever. I need someone that gets me.

I applied this week for a public speaking job, aka a dream job of mine. I can't explain the feeling I had turning that baby in. Accomplishment is the closest I can get. Not too profound, but just applying encourages me that I am still alive and trying at this thing called life. And hey, maybe I will live out a few dreams of mine. I wouldn't mind that at all.

William Jewell announced this week their plan to raise tuition prices 6.4% to $31,000. Awesome. Thanks William Jewell, I needed that. Really. That makes me want to go here even more. So my parents and I have been storming up a plan for me to graduate a semester early. Is it possible? There is a chance it is. Must wait and see. But if I do, I have a lot of mental preparation to do.

It's 12:13 a.m. Happy November.

Let's eat turkey.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Oh baby baby

Currently feeling: Endorphins at work
Currently eating: a lot
Current obsession: today's Fall weather
Current thought: life after college
4 Days in Blue Springs: 2 Starbucks nights, 3 Wal-mart trips, a haircut, a shot in my arm, and the return of the coffee addiction

I just got back from a nice stroll around the block. I feel good. I feel refreshed. I have thoroughly enjoyed my time here. I move back to reality tomorrow. Once I hit that campus a flood of thoughts and responsibilities will be waiting to greet me. I will enjoy this while I can.

So I have been thinking about what I want to do after college. It's been a very non-stressful thought which is surprising. I am excited to think about it. I will be excited to move on as well. At the moment I would enjoy moving to a part of the United States with a large Hispanic population and begin work with immigration-related issues. I would love to native English-speakers about the Hispanic culture...the language...the issues; building a bridge between the two.

Along with that, I have had a sudden desire for the married life with red-headed children (wouldn't that be splendid?). It's not that I have never wanted to find an amazing man to start a new life's just that the desire has increased and reality shows that I am of age.....the door is wide open. And kids....oh baby, soccer mom here I come......

I had a dream last night that I had a baby. Maybe that's why I am thinking about it today. Although I am convinced it was the extreme pain of my ovaries screaming at me last night that caused this dream. Maybe the pain was close to labor. I wouldn't doubt it.

Cheers to you soccer mom.

Saturday, October 18, 2008


Currently on: Fall Break
Currently reading: Sex God by Rob Bell
Current fad: reading the paper
Current feeling: release
Currently developing: an interest in politics
Currently looking forward to: getting married and having kids

Hello Fall Break. I am enjoying the comfort of my bed in a very middle-school decorated room that I once occupied on a regular basis. The creaks in the floor, the sound of my parents walking down the hall, the smell of mom's food is.....pleasantly familiar.

Blue Springs is not much anymore. I drove around town last night looking for something to do. Guaranteed I always end up at Starbucks drinking coffee and reading/writing. BS is the place of my past......many memories. Although there are some nice developments happening...more strip malls. For strip malls, BS is the place to be.

Today was the perfect Fall day. A perfect Fall day is very rare considering good Fall weather only lasts for a very short time. I wore very fall colors today. Along with my brown glasses and red hair, I blended into the leaves. Call me Autumn. I just said "very" 3 times.

I love Spanish right now. I love loving my major and what I am learning. It's about time I get excited about my education. Now let's move to Mexico.

Lately I have realized about myself:
I am smell-sensitive
I don't enjoy pig meat
I like to control situations...not saying this is good
I love learning
I love the pumpkin Candy Corns
The first thing I notice about my girls friends is a change in their hair and/or weight

Go jump in some leaves.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Coming Back

Currently listening to: John Mayer "Say"
Currently eating: granola
Currently: raining outside
Looking forward to: fall break

I feel majorly blessed by the love and forgiveness that God has given me and shown me through his people. I don't know why people don't just smack me over the head.

I had some much needed conversations this weekend.....reaffirming, redirecting, and reconnecting my relationships. The people in my life are understanding and merciful despite my inconsistent self. I am thankful.

I went to a beautiful and meaningful wedding on Saturday. I had wonderful company and witnessed a God-centered and blessed union of two special people in my life. It renewed hope for my future.

I just made a big batch of granola and's fabulous.

It's rainy evening which calls for my sweatpants and hoodie. Yey for fall.

I began to look at classes today for next semester and I am struggling with the reality that there are three more semesters left of my college career. Wow ok. I just got here yesterday.

May I end with the fact that I am listening AND enjoying a song right now about "Bleeding Love."

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Social Butterfly

Currently feeling: tired
Currently going: to a Homecoming bonfire
Wearing: pink

My life feels like a movie right now.

Life seems so fragile and magnified in this William Jewell bubble. Everyone knows everyone. You can't ignore any problem here; it's always brought to the surface. Because it's such a small school, relationships are everything. And high-maintenence might I add.

I just don't know how to handle people sometimes. I feel like this week I have lacked a patience that is required for my current circumstances. I find different relationships thriving week to week. It's a roller coaster, and I get off wind-blown. It's too much sometimes.

What makes relationships so unique is the vulnerability one feels in exposing one's heart to an other. Fear of rejection. Judgement. Sometimes it's like that....luckily there are times it's not. But tonight I feel like I am dealing with some of the former. I need to heal---in more ways than one.

Right now is a moment where I am completely indifferent. I don't know what I want to do...listen to.....who I want to be around.......

I am socially: worn-out.

This too shall pass.