Friday, January 9, 2009

This is what I think about when I eat powdered donuts

Currently listening to: Damien Rice. Thriving Ivory.
Currently reading: Through Painted Deserts

"I don't know who I am without you. All I know is that I should." -Missy Higgins

A shout out to all of you who have been in relationships before. It is quite the deal. Even 2 years after you have called it quits, it can still be a big deal. A mystery to me, that's for sure. What is it with this human love thing that brings so many people together for a pseudo happiness that leaves you empty? Even knowing the awful results, you do it over and over again. It's like this black hole that continues to suck me in (shout out to astronomy folks who have studied black holes). What's up with me doing shout outs? Anyway. He has been in the back of my mind for all this time...just hanging out, displaying the fact that I have not cut the tie. I know a big decision is around the corner for me: letting go. Easy said. Very not easy done. I have been on this path many times....only to realize I have been going in circles. Ok. Time to get out, Liz.

I recently developed a new concept of freedom. Freedom is when you have given up all your rights to yourself....your God has them and you are empty handed. It's no longer your responsibility to control the matters of your life; it's His. So you don't have to worry! This leaves us free to simply follow. Trust. Be free.

I yearn for that.

You know, I tried to think of ways I could write about this guy thing without actually being honest....avoiding sounding like a 13-year-old girl writing her diary out on Xanga for the world to see.......or you know, the tricky blogesk kind of parables or something. But that frame of mind is a rarity in a brain like mine. So--it is what it is, says the communication major who has been taught to state the facts.

A glimpse into my life.