Wednesday, September 2, 2009

H1N1, Facebook, and peanut butter

Current favorite song lyric: "The Day is Brave"

Today a friend in the cafeteria yelled out, "It's here!"

Wash your hands with soap and water. Use antibacterial stuff too, even though the hundred that have been put around your college are empty because the sanitizer is on back order. Stay in a foot long box if you have flu symptoms. Don't breathe or have contact with any other human being. If you say anything, we will quarantine you.

The bacon cough, pig flu, oink, swine flu, H1N1, whatever you want to name it, has hit the William Jewell College campus. All this does is make everyone paranoid. So now instead of the shallow small talk about the abnormally cool weather in Missouri right now, classes are consumed with chatter about the girl who had to go home because of the flu and how soap and water is the best way to clean your hands. Seriously. Small schools have to be the worst when it comes to these things because you hear the same gossip 20 times in one class. Things don't just get around fast here, they get around several times. Don't cough in public, people will form a 2-foot radius around you. You think people are your friends until they find out you are sick and take an extra few steps away from you. I am thinking about wearing a face mask and gloves tomorrow to school to see what people do.

Another rumor today at school said that there is a Facebook application allowing you to see who visits your profile and how many times they visit. Is this true? Because there was a rumor about this last year and I think that was false. So no more Facebook stalking?

Today I ate peanut butter and crackers, only because I wanted peanut butter. I just finished a Slimfast shake only so I could have the taste of chocolate. Sometimes I eat carrots with peanut butter only to have an object to scoop the peanut butter into my mouth. Why don't I just eat the friggin jar of peanut butter? Ah, what you do to justify what you eat. Like those dreamers who say, "Oh, I will have the cherry pie and ice cream because it's a fruit and good for me, and ice cream has dairy in it." I mean, really?

Someone forgot to tell this girl....

No comments: