Monday, May 18, 2009

A reminder

Current activity: cleaning out my room
Current song: In Your Presence by Jason Upton
Currently wearing: my rainbow retainer

I am going through things from this school year. My desk is stuffed with old ticket stubs, lecture programs, receipts; evidence that I don't throw anything away. I ran across an old food journal from when I was sick last semester. Reading it again numbed my core. I get lost just sitting here, remembering what it was like to be sick for so long. I had wrote down every little thing I ate and what was in it......rice, rice cakes, rice milk, canned peaches Gluten-free pasta, millet pudding....let me stop before you have to read all the ridiculous things included in my soy free, diary free, corn free, gluten free diet. I wrote every time I got sick, which was generally right after I ate. Wow. It's been 7 months since I have been sick. Glory be to God.

I found birthday confetti from October and instructions my mom wrote to my friends so they could put birthday surprises outside my door exactly the way it should be. Gluten-free cupcakes, candy for my friends, balloons, signs made by my family members. What a thoughtful mom I have. What a special birthday.

I ran across old bulletins from First Christian Church, a place that showed me love and healing. A place where I recieved the most genuine hugs expressing the love Christ has for me and his community.

I found my nametag from ESL class that I lost a long time ago. Adwad, Gerges, Magdad, Beshoy, Rosalva, Daranel, Felix, Maria.....learning acceptance, service, understanding, and love between human beings.

I have a lot to be thankful for. This was a year of very uncomfortable friction that produced growth inside of me....that made me come out better, I think (still figuring that one out)....a year of fresh perspective and reality. A year of new beginnings and endings. Another year to reflect the grace, mercy, and faithfulness of God. I didn't use those words just to use religious jargon...like Christian radio or something. I chose to use each one and meant it. So go back and read that sentence again. He is the only reason I can come up with for me coming out the other side a healed, loved, educated woman. Whole.

"For great is your love toward me; you have delivered me from the depths of the grave." Psalm 86:13

1 comment:

taufiki said...

Love you!
I'm moving home on wed...so that means we should see each other!