Current word describing my room: disaster
Current food fad: mocha frapps w/ hazelnut
Currently wanting to: stay up all night looking at the stars and have great conversation, or in reality, sleep.
Wow. Marathon day. It was one of those. You start bright and early and don't get back to your room til the sun has been way down. You live out of a bag, carrying snacks, papers, medicine, and laptop with you all day. You go from class to meeting to doing homework for your next class and then maybe you'll get lunch. You breathe.....and then another meeting, dinner, blah blah blah blah blah..........and it's 11:56 p.m. and you decide to write a blog with the last few moments of the day. My brain is a blog machine. Throughout the day I constantly think of things blog-worthy to write. If I was gutsy enough to make blogging my profession, I would. Only because it satisfies some yearning in me to make sense of things through words. It's the challenge. And the more I do it, the more I like it.
I analyze the crap out of everything. Oh my goodness. In a single conversation I will take into account someone's facial expressions, tone of voice, eye contact tendencies, spiritual nature, whether they are a first-born child or like coffee, whether they put their jeans on left leg first, and if they marked on the back of their license to give their organs. You name it, I can give you a run-down about you after one conversation. Ah and it gives me a headache that I do this. Today was an overstimulated day. My brain needs to stop thinking about every little thing.
College makes you into something....can't think of the word. Zombie is what I can think of right now. You go and go and go and go.....putting in so much effort to things, while trying to maintain meaningul relationships on no sleep and crap food. It wears on you. Finishin up 3 years.....and you know, I am ready to be done with this kind of life. It's definately for a season, and I can feel this season ending. My eyes, heart, and thoughts are looking outward; away from this hill.
Ok. I got on here to make a great post, but halfway through realized I was really tired. So will come back another time. Thanks for reading this, my faithful reader.
Night.
The Gifts of Grief
10 years ago
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