A heart's rant

Currently feeling: indifferent
Currently listening to: "Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen"
Currently wanting: to get away

It's time for one of those blogs explaining one of those moods. You know these. You don't care about anything. You feel like doing something but you don't know what you want to do. You can't seem to be content. You are anxious about moving onto the next season in your life. You stuff Junior Mints into your mouth on the way home from Wal-Mart only to have one fall on the wayside, melting into a brown blob on the crotch of your pants. One of those moods. And so you turn on your favorite sentimental, reflecting songs and try to work up a good cry because it will make you feel better. Just because. Because in the world there is injustice and unhappy people. There is a truth that we are so blinded from seeing because of our simply humanness.

Do you ever get frustrated because you know you are "missing it?" You know that you are letting yourself get caught up in all of the meaningless things that barge in front of your face. You let things cloud your vision, and it frustrates you. I know time is ticking away. I know I am wishing my life away. I hate knowing that tomorrow I will wake up and be 70, looking back on my years, telling young kids how fast time goes by and for them to appreciate being young. Knowing this, you would think I would live each day for the beauty of the day. Or not worry about stupid things. But in my knowledge of a great truth and eternal reality, I watch the fog consume my vision, and gladly welcome the comfort of my meaningless stresses. There is only so much my human thoughts can do to stay connected to such an eternal kingdom.

I analyze people too much. I analyze relationships too much. I wish I could turn it off. And then, as a communication major, I tend to analyze the way people speak and form their sentences; unhealthy habits......like my Junior mint craze today in the car that left my pants looking like a dirty diaper.

I wish I could do better.