Friday, November 27, 2009

The little things

Currently listening to: Michelle Branch, “You get me”
Currently digesting: Thanksgiving dinner and leftovers
Currently into: stretching

Today’s Thanksgiving. I ate a lot of turkey, took a lot of pictures, ate leftovers of the turkey and watched some football. I am somehow encouraged. How this happened particularly, I am not quite sure. But from the combination of family interactions, naps, movies watched, conversation and reflecting on what’s important on a day like Thanksgiving, I have found some reassurance of who I am and who I want to be. Ah, finding revelations in the little things. You can always count on me to find some spiritual relevance in a movie or sentimental point to a situation. Come on though, this is why I blog.

Today I found the belief that I can be absolutely loved, cared for, appreciated and pursued by someone of the male species. It’s lame, but it’s through little scenes in a movie (“Mall Cop,” oh my gosh I can’t believe I just admitted that) or seeing myself react to a conversation a certain way that I find glimpses of hope and that I am perfectly content with where God has my love life. It’s when I hear friends talk about their desire to have kids (I mean, really?) and yearning for a relationship that I have found myself pretty content and focused recently (not saying I will enjoy those things when they come….the kids thing could wait). This is also to say I change day by day, but you know this so I will shut up about that. It’s just that like every other part of my life, I see how God prepares and equips us for the various seasons of our lives, and I see him doing it for me right now and it just so happens that right now my heart is taking it easy, letting go of the distractions that I so easily place in front of me regarding boys and my feelings. I am feeling secure and in tact for DC. Wow, as I say that I wait for you to laugh because as you go through my posts you see that this feeling changes. Think about this with me though. Perhaps my emotions over the past few months and the inner part of me are different. Maybe I feel at peace, security and confidence about where I am. It’s just that I struggle with fear, doubt and crying a lot (Oh my, we watched the movie “Up” too. That’s an emotional movie). But those aren’t to say I don’t have faith. Faith I do have.

So I stretched tonight, along with flossing my teeth….two habits of which I hope to keep. If it takes 30 days to break a habit, how long does it take to start one? More endorphins, healthy muscles, less plaque. That’s what I am going for.

1 comment:

meg said...

21 days to make a habit... i thought it was 4 to break one. Anyways... what matters is that you are an amazing, loved child of God and i crave a 24 hour coffee date with you more than you understand. love.