Saturday, September 20, 2008

Where I'm at

Currently listening to: the new Phil Wickham c.d.
Eating: granola
Feeling: refreshed

Lately I have observed in my life the importance of:

good health
self-control
communication
questioning
worshipping
love.

I feel satisfied right now. And for once, satisfied with not knowing. Satisfied with continuing the search for answers. I just had some amazing conversations with fascinating people that stimulated so much thought in me about God, life, the body, truth. It's not black and white. The truth might be black and white, but we all see different colors. And in trying to make sense of what we call "God," we try to convince the other that He's purple when they see green. Who's right? Is there a right answer? Or are we all just clueless?

The ladder is all I find to be true.

God is bigger than all of this down here. All of this crap; injustice, sickness, hipocrisy, religion, confusion. What we view as truth is so little to the vastness of its pure form. We are clueless humans who are trying to get through life. If only we would notice Him. If only we would stop pointing fingers and looking around and recognize His presence.

Recognize His greatness.

Sometimes I wonder if it's possible for the Body of Christ to get along. It seems like a mess. It's overwhelming. But God loves the church. God wants us to fight for the church. Don't we have the responsibility to atleast try? To believe for the best?

Right now I will insert my cliche comment for the day: "Can't we all just get along?"
Ok I feel better.

Life is gorgeous. To be able to engage in conversation that challenges my beliefs, stimulates my intellect, and inspires my heart, is the most healthy thing I can do for myself right now. And I know there are those who have not been liberated or educated enough to face such thoughts; who remain ignorant, some by choice, others not knowing.

I've gone through crap. I understand sickness. Bad relationships. Family problems. Depression. Hurt by the church. I've questioned politics and religion. And I know that my faith is more real now. My ideas, more clear. My perspective, larger. My joy, more complete. I've recognized the importance of thinking for oneself, for questioning, for listening. And I have been liberated from conformity. Religion. Judgement. Ignorance. Condemnation.

And I love this destination.

Because I am free.

1 comment:

taufiki said...

happy birthday dear friend. love you.