Sunday, October 18, 2009

Seeing it as beautiful

Currently listening to: The Postal Service
Currently learning how to: eat grapefruits
Currently feeling: endorphins

I just went on a long, late night walk with a friend. Don't you love those? I feel good.

Life is pretty raw right now. There's nothing fake or imaginary about it. Nothing easy about it either. It's going incredibly fast and hard decisions await me. Those of you who know me well understand that I hate making decisions, let along ones that really matter.

I am healthily learning what is good for me and what is not. This goes beyond eating vegetables and exercise. This is about relationships. About lifestyles. About my choices. I am feeling a little more confident and a little more sure. These are good things to be feeling as I anticipate my future.

I am serious when I say that I don't know who I would be without the circumstances and relationships that have evolved during my time at Jewell. 50 years from now I will be telling my grandchild that college was the best time of my life. I will tell her that the people I met meant the world to me. The education enlightened me. The struggle refined me. I was privileged to have such an experience with such quality individuals. I will be able to say hey, I knew them. They are making a difference in the world, and I was able to eat dinner with them every day or have late night talks or dance parties with. They talked me through a break-up or listened to me complain about my Spanish teacher. They listened to me laugh...loud. They watched me dance by myself in the middle of an empty room. They appreciated my piano playing. They let me borrow hair clips and gave me nursing advice. They wrote me notes because they know I appreciate them and most importantly, they pointed me towards Christ and gave me grace to doubt when I wasn't sure that was where I wanted to go. These will be my stories. There will be plenty. And you know, people will probably get sick of them. But that's ok. And hey, maybe the stories will make it in a book someday.

My goodness, this all is just beautiful.

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