Sunday, July 20, 2008

So long Mountains

Currently listening to: Rosie Thomas, Much Farther to Go
Chewing: Juicy Fruit Gum

I am writing to you from home; good ol' Blue Springs won me back. I arrived home yesterday from Colorado in order to somehow get this sick body to a manageable level of health. Ever since I have been out there, I have been fighting to keep my body at homeostasis. The past few days I have not been able to jump back. I surrendered and came home. Lord have mercy, not this again. I go in tomorrow for bloodwork. Hopefully the activities of the week do not include the hospital. I don't want to do that again.

So my life for awhile is going to consist of reflecting on my Colorado experience. I sincerely miss the people, the mountains, and the unique opportunity I had there.


My life will also consist of sharing my questions with you all. It's not uncommon to ask, "Why?" in a situaton like this. But as I look around, the question rings louder and louder in order to put to rest this curiousity and doubt. I have wrestled with the idea of sickness, healing, and the Bible. I have seen inconsistency between my body and the word of God. Where is my strong faith in such a desperate situation? I am not as strong as I thought I once was. Then when I take my eyes off of myself, I look around and see so much suffering; sickness. No worries, my anger has already subsided. But my heart still seeks answers. Peace. When will my curiousity be quenched?

In this battle my character grows. My faith stretches. My heart rides on the cycle of brokenness....where only at the cross I am found.

No comments: