The day before Christ was born

Currently eating: italian cookies
Currently never listening to again: Christmas music
Currently dreaming of: leading worship

Christmas Eve traditions are complete. Our over-filling dinner of ham and fixings has passed with much groaning and saying "I will never eat again." Singing "Happy Birthday" to Jesus was sung loudly by all the grandkids. I insistently asked them what the three candles on the angel food cake represented, encouraging the spiritual, deep meaning to all the things we do in this family and carrying the tradition of my grandma. After the "Larry, Curly and Moe" jokes subsided, I re-explained the idea of The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and that's what the three candles represent. We then attended the Christmas Eve service at church as a whole family just like every year.

We are now sitting around the fire discussing the matters of the day, waiting for Christmas to come. I devistatingly watched my mom fill stockings for the grandkids tonight. Devistating is the word I use to describe this because this is my childhood revealed...this is what they did every Christmas Eve? Ah. I'm old. I remember the days when I would immediately go to bed after service, being told that the earlier you go to sleep, the quicker Santa comes, and in the morning, waking up to stockings full of chapstick, deoderant, gum, and other necessities. This is the first year we don't have stockings. Welcome to adulthood.

There is nothing about adulthood that seems attractive right now. Having to make my own decisions with the fear of owning all the consequences to them, good or bad, makes me sick to my stomach. I mean I do it now, but adulthood is like being released and pushed out of any last comfort that is left at the age of 21. This time next year, I will be done with my exams....classes....backpacks....forever. And my future will be in my hands. Gross. Just gross. Is this real? Take it back. All those times I wished I were older. I take it back. Let me be forever 21.

Ok. So I am frustrated. Because all day today I have thought of things, experienced feelings, that are blog-worthy. But now, I am drawing blanks, or just lacking the umph to continue with taste. So here are the end of my thoughts:

I am thankful for my health. It's indescribable feeling this way. The Lord is faithful.

It's funny the way you are around your family. I've been observing this lately. I am the youngest redhead that looks nothing like her siblings and is the smartest, most driven and musical of the family. Don't worry, this is what they tell me. I am not that conceited. I tend to be the quieter helper around here. That's how I feel anyway. That's all about that.

I am ready to pursue my music. For real.

I have some serious New Year's resolutions this year.....I never do that. But I have some serious make-overing to do in many areas. I am ready for a new Liz with the intent of finding the real Liz somewhere in there.

Well... Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad and most importantly, Happy Birthday, Jesus.

***Fun fact of the day: My dad and I "You tubed" Santana music today in order to find the English translation to his song, "Oye como va." Heard it? This is what it means: "How's it goin? My rythme is good for partying, babe." It repeats that through the whole thing. Dang, Santana, you are clever.