Currently reading: Cold Tangerines
Currently eating: Apple Jacks w/ Rice Milk
Currently enjoying: catching up with old friends
Today I made the mistake of partaking in the stupidest decision too many people make on the Saturday before Christmas....going to the mall. Ok, I feel everyone must experience this atleast once in their life, but never again. I sat in a long line of cars for 45 minutes and moved maybe 20 feet. Ok, I have no idea if that estimation is even near accurate, but it's the first thing that came to mind. Hope it makes my point. It wasn't until I found myself sandwiched bumper to bumper between a thousand cars filled with caffeinated, stressed out shoppers who imagine they are the only people in a hurry to get out of there, that I realized what I had gotten myself into.
When stuck in traffic, one is able to fit in some much needed people watching time. I saw a few drop the F-bomb. It's funny you just know it when you see it. It's the way their eyes rage and lips curl up when you know that a very vile 4-letter word has just escaped their mouth. I also saw a very nice Volvo with what looked like very normal, friendly people inside. Nothing strange about the scene until I took notice of the white bra hanging from their rear view mirror...........? It was like finding Where's Waldo in his red-striped shirt among Gothic people without glasses, dressed in black. It just didn't fit.
Within this 45 minute traffic experience, I encountered several emotions. This is understandable for anyone, but especially for one who recently finished finals, just wanted to run in to buy a quick pair of jeans which didn't happen because I am in between sizes and insecure about my weight to say the least, and I was late to a coffee date with an old friend. At one point I found myself screaming.....you know I am not joking.....during the hysterical moments. Laughing when it got past the point of sanity. And cussing in my head to the people who I saw pass me, laughing and enjoying themselves with the loved ones in their car, like it was Christmastime or something. There is no worse feeling than wasting 1/3 tank of gas (again, another made up figure) by partaking in a rather materialistic, vein tradition and being seen with all the shop-a-holics that do weird things like wake up at 3 in the morning to shop the day after Thanksgiving and wait in line to return all their gifts at Wal-Mart the day after Christmas. You know, it's just not healthy. And you would think I would catch myself before doing such a thing today, but for some reason it did not cross my mind.
After my adventure, I had coffee with an old friend, actually, a girl I used to disciple in high school. Our interaction reminded me of the deep need for community, to be understood, and the value of the seeds we sow. It was refreshing and encouraging. She is doing amazing considering some unfortunate events in her life. She is positive, determined, and seeing the Lord work throughout the situations in her life. It's wonderful to see that. It really is.
So I am sitting in a quiet home, staring at a Christmas tree covered with old paper wreaths and felt stocking ornaments. My brain is still settling it's thoughts after a rather rough few months. I survived yet another semester in college. It's an accomplishment I hope to make 2 more times. Possibilities for life after college have aggressively charged through my mind. I allow them some time, but place them on hold for awhile in order to enjoy this very moment. To be here. To be present. To not miss it.
Here is the part where I make some witty conclusion to this whole experience. This is where I get insecure of my blogging abilities and throw my hands up to my fellow English major, clever, intelligent bloggers who read a lot. Props to you. I just can't find it in me to sit here another 10 minutes and think about how it would be fitting to end my post.
So....It is what it is.
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